Self Confidence Tips
A Three Step Goodfinding Approach

Authored by William G. DeFoore, Ph.D.

These self confidence tips will help you find, build and maintain that high level of poise and self-assurance you have always wanted. 

Using the three Goodfinding focusing processes of gratitude, appreciation and optimism, you will establish your confidence from the inside out, and actually begin to project your self-assurance into your future endeavors.

self confidence tips

Now we'll dive into each of these areas, and expand on the tools and techniques that you can use to grow your inner sense of being strong and confident.

Build Confidence With Gratitude For The Good

Confidence is not a permanent state that just stays in place. It is a feeling that you have to create intentionally. Otherwise, your feelings of inner strength and self confidence will come and go according to what is happening around you.

You don't want that, because that basically makes you a victim of your circumstances, helpless to determine how you feel and how you see yourself.

Using these self confidence tips, you will learn to intentionally build and maintain your good feelings about yourself on an ongoing basis.

Here are the steps to using gratitude for your past experience to build your self confidence:

  • Be grateful to your past self for making it through the hard times. Review and revisit your past difficulties and trauma, and heal your emotional wounds, if necessary. Acknowledge that you are a survivor!
  • Be grateful to your younger self for the obstacles you have overcome, and the difficulties that you have actually conquered.
  • Say a big "Thank you!" to yourself for your successes. Don't take anything for granted. Imagine that you are a proud parent or grandparent, saying, "Look at what you've done! Wow! Good job!" Doing this for yourself means you're not totally dependent on others to do it for you.

Ok, that covers the past as a resource for self confidence. Now let's go into the present and all of the ways you can build your feelings of self assurance right here and now.

Self Confidence Tips For Appreciating You

No time better than the present! These tips will help you use what is right here at your fingertips to feel good about yourself and strengthen your inner sense of confidence in your abilities and who you are.

Here are the steps:

  • Two or three times a week, do a review of what you're good at. You tend to take these things for granted, but it's much better to remember them once in a while. Write down all of the things you can do well, whether it impresses anyone else or not.  This is for you.
  • Do an inventory (list) of the resources you have. List your supportive friends, family and others who like you and believe in you. Also list your prized possessions, your wealth (however big or small), and anything else that helps you live the life you choose.
  • Then list all of the things you like about yourself. Make note of your best qualities, and what you consider to be your most positive aspects as a person. Focus both on internal and external factors, leaving nothing out. To help you with this, think of how your greatest admirer would describe you, and write that down.

Part of the challenge with these self confidence tips is to take nothing for granted. All of us have a tendency to take our good qualities and accomplishments for granted, and focus too much on our shortcomings and difficulties.

Do the above exercises, and break this self-defeating pattern as you become more and more confident with every passing day!

Build Your Confidence By Reaching Out & Connecting!

Self Confidence Tips For The Future You Want

This is where we launch this awesome growing self confidence into your future. We've covered how to draw it from the past with gratitude, and build it up in the present with appreciation.

Now we're going to extend your confidence into your future with optimism.

We'll start with the stuff you expect and know for sure is going to happen, then we'll go into what you really want for your future, then we'll conclude by knocking the ceiling off and stretching your imagination to new horizons of positive possibilities.

Here we go:

  • Think of upcoming events, big or small, that you're 99% sure will happen. Then picture and imagine yourself moving confidently through these situations, acting and reacting exactly like you would like to.  This kind of mental rehearsal actually works...but only if you do the exercises!
  • Now think of things you really want to happen, but you have some doubts about whether they will actually occur. For example, you can focus on healthy diet, exercise, positive social interactions or generally successful outcomes for future events. Picture and imagine yourself making the choices you want to make, and having exactly the kind of experiences you want. Notice how good you feel with your success.
  • Finally, expand your vision to the ideal future you have dreamed of, but perhaps don't think will happen. Go ahead and imagine yourself living out that dream, in all the detail you can think of. Take the ceiling off of the positive possibilities here, and let your imagination soar. Believe it or not, this will actually increase the likelihood of these or similar outcomes.

There you have it. These self confidence tips will work for you, if you work with them. Regular, consistent practice is the key to learning and mastering these skills.

Believe in can do this!

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