Authored by William G. DeFoore, Ph.D.
How can your relationship help you to be happy? Great question! The perfect question, as a matter of fact. And the fact is that the best thing you can do for your relationship is to focus on what you love and appreciate about yourself and the other person.
The big mistake we make is thinking we'll be happy if we can just get that other person to change. That's a totally flawed strategy. They may or may not change...and probably won't as long as you're focused on what you don't like about them.
How did things get like this? How can it start out so good, and then go so bad? Here's an overview of the relationship journey, from the start to a happy now:
Do you see how Goodfinding in your relationship helps you to be a happy person? I'm sure you're starting to get it, but let's go a little further into this to make sure:
This is probably familiar to you. Hopefully this relationship help will take you further and further into the not-so-familiar territory of happy relationships. And I think you can see here how this approach can help you to be more of who and how you want to be.
That is such an important question. It seems so clear that if she would just...or if he wasn't so...or if she was more like...or if he would just stop...you know the story.
Here's how trying to change others (or others trying to change you) makes things worse, not better:
The bottom line here is, it just doesn't work to try to change anyone. But if you follow the steps below, you can still get the relationship help and happiness you're looking for.
Here's a fantastic video featuring Dale Williams, Executive Coach, who explains how focusing on the positives in relationships works so much better.
He also talks about Positive Psychology, an important new field of study that focuses on strengths and assets in individuals instead of pathology.
Now let's look at the steps you can start taking right now:
Creating a happy relationship is one of the greatest
challenges we face in life...and therefore it contains some of the
greatest rewards. The type of relationship help we're offering here is
actually about moving from conditional to unconditional love, which will bring you benefits beyond measure.
Let's look at the five steps to happy relationships now:
These steps are especially important in creating and maintaining a happy, fulfilling marriage. A truly fulfilling and happy marriage is within your reach.
I know it may not be as simple as this sounds, and there may be other steps you need to take. But do not underestimate the power of these tools for the relationship help you need.
Your mental focus is actually a creative mechanism, and when you make up your mind to make it positive and uplifting, you will actually create more goodness, joy and well being in your relationships.
This page is focused on solutions, not problems. If you need some problem solving before you can take some of these steps to happy relationships, that's OK. I can help you with more indepth relationship help and you can learn how to solve marital problems here.
The important thing is that you make up your mind that you will improve your situation and continue your movement toward creating happy relationships, no matter what.
"When you feel loved by someone you love, you are motivated to improve yourself to keep the love flowing."
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Do you have a great story about how love has touched your life? Please share it!
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