Building Self Confidence Skills Overcome Self Doubt & Reach All Of Your Goals
Authored by William G. DeFoore, Ph.D.
You'll be building self confidence sooner than you expect. Confidence is actually a part of your nature, and all you have to do is use the skills on this page to access and develop your natural ability.
Stuff happens to all of us that gets in the way of the natural self assurance, ease and poise that we want. The good news is that when you focus on that stuff in a positive, helpful way, those limiting effects go away, and you immediately start feeling more sure of yourself.
While it might seem like some people are born with more self confidence than others, it's really not that way. These skills can be learned and developed by anyone. Most of us know someone who overcame their shyness to be more bold and forthright in their personal and/or professional lives.
Take a look at the chart below. Read through it and then we'll go into some detail on each topic so that you can get started!
This takes some effort, but it is so worth it!
You may have noticed...life itself is anxiety provoking. We are all fragile, vulnerable beings living in an uncertain world with an unpredictable future. That's why you need skills for building self confidence. You'll just be too anxious without them.
You may not feel vulnerable or fragile, but I think you know what I mean. Nobody has a guaranteed future without risk, and you need courage to walk confidently forward into the next moment, and the next.
Now let's get into the skills you need to get this done.
Skills For Building Self Confidence
I'm sure you realize that confidence is an inside job. External events can help, but ultimately it's what you have going on inside that determines your level of self assurance and ease in moving through life's challenges.
So let's look at some of that inside work that will give you what you're looking for.
Clearing old beliefs -- Anxiety and insecurity (the enemies of confidence) usually arise from some types of old, self-limiting beliefs. Fortunately, you're not stuck with those. You can clear them, by following these simple guidelines.
Releasing traumatic memories -- Self limiting beliefs are anchored...literally...in painful and traumatic memories. By revisiting and reworking each of those memories in a positive and productive manner, you loosen the hold they have on you, and you uproot the foundation of the negative beliefs. This guided imagery process will help you with that.
Establishing new beliefs -- This is where you start constructing the foundation of your self confidence. Your new beliefs are positive statements you make (mostly about yourself) which lift you up, and help you hold your head high going forward. These encouraging words will help you with that.
Encouraging yourself -- This is simply a matter of developing a very strong, enduring habit of positive thinking, about yourself and the world around you. This entire website is devoted to the task of helping you to be positive by finding the good in your past, present and future.
Positive self motivational techniques -- Self motivation is a necessary step to building self confidence. When you successfully motivate yourself to do the things you really want and need to do, your confidence and self assurance will automatically grow.
Positive focus on others -- You're just not going to be confident if you think too negatively about other people. This is not simple or easy, but you can do it. Learn about building trust in relationships to increase your positive focus on others.
"See it, don't be it" -- This is a technique for using imagery to contain, heal and manage negative emotions so that they don't get in the way of your self confidence. Here is a full description of the process, as applied to anger. To deal with anxiety, depression, resentment, etc. just substitute those words for "anger" in the exercise.
Visualizing what you want -- Here is where you picture yourself feeling that awesome self confidence you're going for. See yourself relaxed, with good posture and a slight smile on your face as you move with self assurance and ease through whatever situation you choose.
Imagining yourself having it -- This is where you step into the confident image, imagining yourself relaxed, with deep breathing, feeling completely sure of yourself as you speak, act and respond exactly as you would like to. Confidence feels great! Spend some time with this, letting those feelings of assurance and ease fill up your whole bod and mind.
These are powerful tools. Like any tools, they only work if you use them, and the more you use them the greater your skill becomes, and therefore the greater your benefit will be. Get more detail here on the visualization/imagination skills.
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