Your Circle Of Trust
From An Emotional Intelligence Perspective

Authored by William G. DeFoore, Ph.D.

The circle of trust that is the most durable, robust and safe is one that starts with self awareness, expands into self management and social awareness, and ultimately develops into the powerful realm of relationship management.

And those are the four domains of Emotional Intelligence. So, here we're tying together two very important dimensions of success and happiness, all in one dynamic configuration.

Take a look at this diagram below, which shows emotional intelligence from the inside out.

circle of trust

So, why concentric circles? Because it works very well to explain exactly how these four domains of emotional intelligence operate.

  1. It all begins with self awareness. Your success, your health, and the quality of your relationships all hinge on the depth and accuracy of your self awareness. And self awareness is essential to self trust, which is essential to trust in others.

  2. Self awareness is almost useless, however, without self management. For example, a lot of alcoholics know that they have a drinking problem, but don't have the self management to control their drinking patterns.

  3. Next comes social awareness, which absolutely requires self awareness and self management. Your view of others - your social awareness - is actually seen through the filter of your self awareness and your ability to manage yourself.

  4. And finally, your relationship management skills, or your ability to create and maintain lasting, fulfilling relationships, totally depends on your self awareness, self management and social awareness.

That's why the concentric circles diagram makes sense. Self awareness is the heart of the matter, and the end result of high levels of emotional intelligence is ultimately reflected in successful relationships.

Trust in others absolutely stems from trusting yourself. Learn more about the definition of trust we're using here.

How To Expand Your Circle Of Trust

You want to be able to trust your close friends and family members, right? I think everybody does, even if you are not all that optimistic about whether you can do it.

Here are some steps you can take, by increasing your emotional intelligence along the way. We'll follow the four steps we've outlined above, and expand on each.

  • Self awareness - When you get to the actual heart and soul of self awareness, you will end up with a deep sense of self love and self compassion, which will greatly enhance your self trust. Why is that? Because you are inherently good. And you will have greater compassion for yourself as you understand and heal your emotional wounds by nurturing your inner child.

  • Self management - With a loving and compassionate self awareness, you will be much more successful in your efforts to manage your own emotions and behaviors. This is like successful just can't be done without a lot of love. Read more about how to develop your self management skills.

  • Social awareness - This is where you extend your love and compassion to others. Like you, they are good people trying to do the right thing and get their needs met...and facing great challenges along the way.  A positive perspective about others is essential to expanding your circle of trust, which greatly increases your sense of safety and security in the world.

  • Relationship management - The bottom line here is that your trust for others expands when you trust yourself to manage your relationships successfully on an ongoing basis. It is also a matter of developing a strong sense of personal boundaries, building effective communication skills, and maintaining a strong positive regard for the other person.

Being a Goodfinder in your relationships is key to building and expanding your circle of trust. This takes ongoing practice, but you can do it! Get your copy of the fabulous Goodfinding audio CD/download now, risk-free!

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