To Get Past Your Barriers & Reach All Of Your Goals
Authored by William G. DeFoore, Ph.D.
Why encourage yourself? Because, as you know, life can be very difficult at times. By learning and practicing these and other Goodfinding skills, you can literally become a friend, coach and ally to yourself.
Then, everywhere you go, you have a good friend with you! This is just good, practical sense. The whole idea of being your own worst enemy doesn't make any sense at all.
Here are the three categories of self encouragement that we're going to cover:
You have a fabulous resource for happiness and well being, right here at your fingertips...well, actually, it's inside you.
Use these tools, master these skills, and they will serve you well for the rest of your life. The more you use them, the better they will work for you.
Here are some of the benefits you will gain from regularly offering encouragement to yourself:
- More success in reaching your (personal and professional) goals. You know how easy those great ideas come along? And you know how much work it is to implement them and see them through? When you learn to encourage yourself, you'll get all the way to completion.
- More health and happiness will come naturally, when you become your own coach and ally and begin to encourage yourself. When you can give yourself a pep talk to get through the disappointment, setbacks, and/or illnesses that come along, you're way ahead of the game.
- More fulfilling relationships will be a natural consequence. When you're a good friend to yourself, it will be much easier for others to be a good friend to you. You will ask less of others, and you will have more to offer...just what everybody wants!
Now let's get started on the skills you need to make this happen. Keep in mind that this entire web site will also help you in the above areas.
First, watch this great video, in which Jessica shows you how to do positive self talk...
Encourage Yourself With Positive Self Talk
You're talking to yourself all of the time, whether you know it or not...so why not make it useful? Normal self talk is unconscious, driven too often by fear and anxiety about tasks and problems.
That kind of self talk can too easily drift into a kind of "inner critic," that too easily becomes that classic "worst enemy" that you have heard about (and maybe heard in our own head). You don't have to put up with that.
Let's look at how to develop positive self talk that really works for you:
- First person, positive statements to yourself -- repeat these statements to yourself on a regular, ongoing basis, and add your own statements to personalize your self talk.
"I can do this. I've got what it takes to overcome these obstacles and reach my goals."
"Today I choose to organize my thoughts and actions, moving step by step into exactly the kind of day I want to have."
"I know in my heart that I am a good person. I choose to exercise and eat healthy today, as a gift to the good person I am."
"I choose to focus on what is good, right and working today, to keep my energy up and my enthusiasm intact."
"I choose to be relaxed, focused and flexible as I move from task to task today. My primary purpose is to feel good while I create the life I want for myself."
These are just some ideas to work with. You'll find a lot more of these kinds of statements on our encouragement words page. Now let's look at a variation of this approach:
- Second person positive statements to encourage yourself. This is just another angle for your positive self talk, where you're making "you statements" instead of "I statements." This uses different brain functions and connects with different emotions, helping you to get a broader range of benefit.
"You are a wise, kind person. Deep inside, you know this. You want what is best for you and all concerned, and you're getting better all of the time at making good things happen for everyone."
"You love to smile and laugh. You know how it feels when you're having a good time and enjoying what you're doing, and you want more of that."
"The more fun you're having, the better the quality of work you produce. You are meant to be a joyful, exuberant person, and you're becoming more like that every day."
"Your dreams, your passions matter. You were born to bring your gifts to this world, and that's how you will do your best work and have the most fun."
"You matter. Your smile matters. Look at the people around you and smile and say hello. They need to know they matter too."
Use these statements, and create your own to meet your own personal, specific needs. The key is practice, practice, practice.
The old habitual self talk patterns are well established, and they won't go away quickly. However, with steady repetition, the positive self talk will take over...because it's more true, powerful and healthy than the negative self talk.
Here is a step by step process to use to encourage yourself:
This is a tried-and-true approach that will work if you use it. Like any tools, however, they are worthless unless you use them.
And the more you use them, the more skilled you become, and the better the tools work for you.
Here are the steps:
- Start a journal (of any kind) and keep your list of positive self statements in that one place, so you always know where to find them. Your "notes" app in your phone or tablet work great for this, or any notes function in the cloud where you can access it anywhere, from all your devices.
- Read through them at the beginning of each day, either repeating them out loud or in your head. Take it slowly, and read each statement as if you really meant it, and knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that it was true.
- Pick one thought or phrase from your list, and make it your "thought for the day." Put it in a prominate place, send yourself an email with the phrase in the subject line, or send it to yourself in a text or a voice mail. Set a reminder in your phone, tablet or computer, so that you remember to think about your positive self talk phrase during the day.
- Monitor what you say out loud to others, and slowly stop using any negative statements about yourself. Gradually, and tastefully, you can start getting into the habit of making positive statements to others as well. This will make it much easier to keep your positive self talk going.
It is helpful to write longhand in a journal, as well as keeping these notes in an electronic device. The longhand writing uses more of a right brain process, and connects more easily with your emotions.
The main thing is to do it. And keep doing it until it becomes habit...and then keep doing it. You will need self encouragement all of your life, to get you through each challenge you face, and to help you realize your dreams.
Uplifting Videos And Encouraging Quotes
I have devoted separate web pages to these two important topics, and you'll find links to those pages below. Use the videos to lift your spirits, make you laugh, and bring a smile to your good heart.
There's nothing like a funny, inspiring or just outright beautiful video to raise your energy level and sense of appreciation--all making it easier for you to encourage yourself.
Click on the image below to see the happy video of the day, as well as selected other videos, all designed to remind you of the fun and goodness in you and the world around you.
It's always great to encourage yourself with positive, uplifting, and inspirational quotes. We have several pages on this site devoted to this, as follows:
- Daily Positive Quotes -- sign up to get daily emails with positive quotes and a link to the happy video of the day.
- Quotes About Happiness -- encourage yourself with positive quotes about happiness at home, at work, with your friends and your family.
- Positive Attitude Quotes -- learn all about the power of a positive attitude, and how it can serve you in every aspect of your life.
Going through tough times? We all do...and you certainly need to encourage yourself when that's going on. I think you'll enjoy these 15 Quotes To Get Through Hard Times.